As we discussed in class, voluntary military service can be an important option for families with few resources. Regarding ongoing wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, we are just beginning to understand the longer term impact of deployment on family life in the United States. For many families, the current rotation of personnel in and out of deployment has resulted in dramatically shorter stays with families and children. The inability to predict when deployment will occur may lead to instability in marital relationships and parent/child relationships as well. As a result, some members of Congress have pushed for longer home stays between deployments for members of the military.
A lingering concern is the effect of injury or loss of life on military families. Research shows that rates of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and traumatic brain injuries (TBI) will climb dramatically, even years after deployment in Iraq and Afghanistan. Moreover, as this article in the New York Times shows, we are beginning to see the effects of a parental loss on children who were toddlers at the beginning of the wars. Pauline Boss, a professor at the University of Minnesota, has conceptualized "ambiguous loss" to describe these circumstances for many children, who struggle with loss of a parent who remains psychologically present despite their physical absence.
After reading this article, consider the impact of parental injury and loss on children and adolescents in military families. What kind of resources to these family members need, both in the short term and the long term? How will these families survive daily challenges for jobs, housing, and health care? What is our responsibility as a society to military families who suffer loss during the conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan? How do these efforts relate to the efforts to end poverty for families in the US?
25 comments:
After military families lose a parent, a lot of resources need to be set in place in order to stabilize and keep life as normal as possible for the children. Grief counseling should be instituted right away for the family and remain in place for the long term as well. This will help young children realize and deal with the loss of parent as they go through different developmental stages. Also, support groups for families who are going through the same thing might be a good way to handle this situation, just like the organization TAPS.
In regards to what happens in terms of jobs, healthcare, and housing this can be a huge deal if the loss of the parent was the primary provider of the family.Losing the primary provider can be a major problem because this could plunge the family into immediate and unpredicted poverty. I think as a society support should be given to the remaining spouse/partner by assisting them find jobs, housing, and healthcare after they lose their loved one. These things can cause a lot of stress of survived parent when that parent is already going through a very difficult ordeal.Anything we can do as a society to minimize the stress such as giving discounts on housing and healthcare and finding jobs for the remaining parent is our duty. Their loved one fought for our country and risked it all for us so the least we can do is help out his or her family.
Losing a loved one is also difficult, especially if the loved one was fighting for his or her country. And it may be even more difficult for the children than it is for the spouse. For instance, in the article many of the families had lost a father figure and now the father's children are growing up and want to know what happened to their father. In addition, as the children continue to grow they will be without a father and it will be difficult for the mother to raise the children on her own. This will especially affect those families where the mothers are not working. Then the family will live a tough life if a mother who has not been working while her husband was still alive, has to work to support her children by herself. When the family is told one's spouse has passed away, they should notify the family with a few resources where the mother or the children could go to speak to someone about their troubles. I agree with 241 with the Grief counseling and the support groups because the Grief counseling will help the children as they get older and it will help them in the long term. Also, the support groups are simple and families can talk and meet with others that will help them get through their problems and they might know others resources that could aid them as well. These families will have to face many daily challenges including jobs, housing and health care. However, the individuals could move in with another family member if they can not afford to live in their current home. And the families should be provided with some sort of health care coverage for a certain period of time. Also, the support groups and counselors should provide these individuals with places where they are able to find a job or places they can save money on if the family is struggling financially. Our responsibilities as a society to support and help these families, especially if an individual knows of a family. Also, giving them more resources and lowering the cost of health care for a certain period of time to help them until the family is financially settled. These efforts relate to the efforts to end poverty for families because families in poverty should be supported in the same way. However, military families might need more support because some of these families could go into poverty through the lost of their loved one. Also, families in poverty include some military families and they need the same amount of resources to help their families get out of poverty. In addition, many families in poverty are single parent families like the military families. Therefore, the children are missing their fathers or mothers as well. As a result, as a society we should help these individuals and families with best resources and help them find opportunities to get them back on their feet because it might not have been their fault.
Our government has the responsibility to provide resources to the military families who have lost loved ones in the war. The article mentions some of the children going to a counselor every week. This is a very important resource that the government should definitely cover and promote for families who experience tragedy, for as long as that family determines is necessary. In fact, I don't believe it should just stop at families who have experienced a loss. I think every military family, whether fully intact or not, should have access to weekly therapy that is fully covered by the government. PTSD is a serious condition, and it stunts the emotional and psychological growth of not only the person who has it, but also that person's family members who live with him or her everyday. If a soldier dedicates his life to serving our country, and our government, then the government should certainly make sure it honors and protects that person, and his family, to the fullest extent. Another resource that government could and should supply for a family that has lost a parent/spouse is a time of paid leave from work. The surviving spouse should have time off to be able to cope with the loss, take care of the family, and get things back in order. This time should be extended, and not stop at whatever a typical work-place offers its employees. The family could attend therapy sessions during this time as well. If the government doesn't make sure of it, some families might not be able to survive daily challenges for jobs, housing and health care. These are all challenges that the government should fully cover for military families, whose lives are dedicated to our country. It is society's responsibility to support military families, and pay homage to them. When it comes to a family who has lost a member due to the war, politics should be set aside, and people just need to be there to support and love, whether that means preparing meals for them, or watching their kids, or writing cards. Also, churches and community centers should have support groups. These efforts relate in some ways to the efforts to end poverty for families in the US. For one, government is involved in both areas. Government is for the people, by the people. It is an institution that is supposed to take care of all citizens, whether they're rich or living in poverty, whether they're civilians or military families. Programs should be set up for both of these demographics, not only by the government but also by local communities. Church groups and community center groups in local communities do just this: create support networks for military families as well as for families living in poverty. As a society, we need to make sure we take care of each other, so that everyone is allowed the opportunities to prosper.
Deaths of many soldiers in the service often leave behind children and wives. We hear about it in the media, but unless we have family or friends in the service we do not fully understand what these families go through when incidents like this occur. From the article, it appears that one of the most valuable short-term resource these families need are continual emotion support. During this time of change, parents need support in adjusting to a single-parent household. The sudden occurrence leaves many parents with questions on what they should do or how they’re going to care for their children. The government needs to provide support and counseling for both the child and parent. Mrs. William’s gathers her words carefully as she tries to explain the death of her late husband, and questions herself as Mya sits quietly after hearing how her dad died, scared to broach the subject. Parents like Mrs. William’s need assistance on developing a healthy form of communication with children going through grief.
Long-term resources include maintaining a stable job. Although the government supplies funds for children of war victims, it is often not enough to support a family. The government needs to step in to ensure these parents jobs in the work field. Insurance is usually covered due to their late spouses position in the service, but living expenses are high and most parents start college funds. .324 made a comment that military families do fall under the poverty line and I completely agree, the economy and sudden pressure of being a single parent is a lot to take on on top of a grieving process. It is our responsibility as a society is to ensure that these families are receiving the proper support whether its emotional or financial. These efforts relate to the efforts to end poverty because they both experience the emotional and macro pressures of the economy. Inability to maintain or even achieve a job place emotional stress on individuals over time.
Deaths of many soldiers in the service often leave behind children and wives. We hear about it in the media, but unless we have family or friends in the service we do not fully understand what these families go through when incidents like this occur. From the article, it appears that one of the most valuable short-term resource these families need are continual emotion support. During this time of change, parents need support in adjusting to a single-parent household. The sudden occurrence leaves many parents with questions on what they should do or how they’re going to care for their children. The government needs to provide support and counseling for both the child and parent. Mrs. William’s gathers her words carefully as she tries to explain the death of her late husband, and questions herself as Mya sits quietly after hearing how her dad died, scared to broach the subject. Parents like Mrs. William’s need assistance on developing a healthy form of communication with children going through grief.
Long-term resources include maintaining a stable job. Although the government supplies funds for children of war victims, it is often not enough to support a family. The government needs to step in to ensure these parents jobs in the work field. Insurance is usually covered due to their late spouses position in the service, but living expenses are high and most parents start college funds. .324 made a comment that military families do fall under the poverty line and I completely agree, the economy and sudden pressure of being a single parent is a lot to take on on top of a grieving process. It is our responsibility as a society is to ensure that these families are receiving the proper support whether its emotional or financial. These efforts relate to the efforts to end poverty because they both experience the emotional and macro pressures of the economy. Inability to maintain or even achieve a job place emotional stress on individuals over time.
After reading the article, I came understand the needs of supporting children who lost their dads. For infants, they are unable to understand the concept of death that they do not seem to react in the beginning. But as they get mature, their cognitive level increase and they learn the absence of their fathers. Often times, it is painful for both children and their mothers. By the time their mothers are moving toward the recovery process, their children become more aware of their fathers as they grow older. For short term, it would be really helpful to provide them with therapy or grief counseling so that mothers know how to handle their own grief first and provide their own children with proper assistance. This would allow them to build healthy relationships within the family and friends. In the long term, government should ensure them with jobs, housing, and health care. There were many similarities between military families and people who are living in poverty. The military families receive the wages lower than $2,000/month and 75% have kids under 5. Also, the rate of pregnancy and divorce is constancy increasing. In class, we have learned that only 45% of military spouses are employed. So when they lose their husbands, they are most likely to face the crisis from not know how to sustain their living. Since their husbands have dedicated their lives, the government should be responsible of helping them financially. Like .324 said, lowering the cost of health care and providing them with more resources would be one of the efficient way to solve the problems.
The parental loss impacts tremendously on children and adolescents in military families. It is hard enough that these children and adolescents have limited time to spend with their military parent and when they have a loss they loose many opportunities and memories that they could have had. Military families need a lot of support from their families and friends. They also need grief counseling after the loss. This helps them get through the loss of their love ones. Family and individual counseling may also be helpful to keep the family together and so that they can communicate their feelings with each other. These families should learn strategies on how to talk about their loss. The loss of the military parent may be the main provider of income of the family. This may impact the family's income, health care and housing. These families need support in having a secure housing and health care plan after the loss of their main provider. A secure health care and housing plan should be provided to until they are finacially secure to provide for themselves after their loss. familes that have experienced a military loss at least As a society, our responsibility is to give these families support and to them deal with their loss. We can also give support to the families who still have love ones in Iraq and Afghanistan. We can organize donations to help these families out. These donations can be money and primary material needs. These efforts can help end poverty for families because it provides them with a secure life after the loss of their love ones which may be their primary provider.
It is clear that a child who has lost a parent in military duty definitely matures a lot quicker than they need to. They lose the innocence of their childhood where everything is supposed to be easy and there is no evil. They feel that they have to be strong because the surviving spouse cannot physically and emotionally always hide the pain they feel.
The surviving family members need continued support, not just immediate support and comfort. They need to be provided for at least 6 months after the loss. They should not be asked to leave the military base so suddenly, but whenever they are emotionally and financially able to leave.
Our responsibility as a society of military families is to offer continued support of war victims and veterans and current active military. Even if we do not support the government in control making the decisions, we still need to support the members of the military.
These efforts relate to our approach we should take towards poverty because it all goes back to the definition of what a community does. We support each other through tough times financially, medically, emotionally, to ensure that we are all provided for.
The impact of parental injury and loss of children and adolescents in military families affects children both physically and emotionally. Children are left with a sense of loss causing them to become more vulnerable to loss of sleep and interpersonal interactions. In the article Mrs. Williams reported that once her daughter was able to understand at age 6 that her father had died, she found her daughter spending a lot of time alone. It is sad to think about a child as young as 6 having to find out one of their parents have died. As stated in the article, these children tend to blame themselves and are extremely confused as to why this has happened to them. This leaves the child with psychological problems that are hard to over come and cope with.
Families in these situations need organizations that will provide a lifetime supply of assistance. This assistance should include mental health therapy, access to housing, and even some sort of monthly camp similar to TAPS. These organizations should supply the families with any basic necessity needed in order to help them with their hardships. Military families should not have the added stress of housing, occupational challenges, or healthcare when finding out that their loved ones have died. There should be some sort of system that allows for theses families to continue having the same resources. Doing this would help these families and show that our country is extremely appreciative of what their spouse has done for our freedom.
I agree with Ted’s blog in that these families should not be asked to leave the military base so suddenly. I think that the military should find suggested housing for these families. They should help the individuals move from their original house to another one. The newly widowed individual deserves such action because the loss of their spouse is due to the fact that our country is at war.
It is clear that family members of military personnel who have died in Iraq and Afghanistan in the almost decade since we have invaded both countries are in need of prolonged assistance, not just an immediate show of support. The article speaks specifically about families who receive immediate and generous support from friends, family members, and acquaintances, saying: "The burst of initial support is not always sustained, however. Brandy Sacco, a 26-year-old nursing student, lost her husband, Sgt. Dominic J. Sacco of Albany, two years ago when insurgents fired on his tank... 'I had people come visit me the first month,' said Mrs. Sacco, who lives in Topeka, Kan. 'They brought me food, and then everybody was gone. I was like, O.K., what do I do now?'" (nytimes.com)
Obviously, families who are bereft in such a manner need continued socio-psychological as well as economic support. The article speaks of persistent grief counseling for children, but what of counseling for widows and widowers? Additionally, I question the benefit of grief counseling for children who may not even remember their lost parent until they are confronted about it in a one-on-one or group therapy setting. The article mentions several widows who, after having their children attend grief camps and therapy, saw visibly negative changes in the children. Perhaps in some cases, the aspect of loss is present in the lives of these children, but they cannot definitively grasp the object of their loss, possibly fail to form accurate memories, and might become depressed or traumatized by constant reminders of a parent figure whom they do not necessarily remember, but whose loss and death they learn of in graphic detail.
As for the harsh economic conditions under which many of these bereft families persist, it is my contention that the government has an obligation to support them and see to their financial needs for as long as possible until these families have a viable means of supporting themselves without fear of financial insecurity. In many cases dealing with military service, poverty was a force that "pushed" ordinary citizens into "jumping" into military service. If this is the case and these soldiers enlisted to escape poverty because of a financial guarantee provided by the military, then it is the government's responsibility to honor this guarantee and relay it to the families of these dead servicemen. I'm not sure of what current conditions exist in terms of the continued financial support of families who have lost parent figures in Afghanistan or Iraq, but if it is still a matter of debate between military officials and families who are facing poverty due to the loss of a parent, the system is clearly broken and needs to be addressed.
Above, .304 said: “Deaths of many soldiers in the service often leave behind children and wives. We hear about it in the media, but unless we have family or friends in the service we do not fully understand what these families go through when incidents like this occur.” I think everyone can agree that this is true, and that these families do need support. However, I have mixed feelings regarding this topic. Although I do believe that what these families go through is tragic and incredibly unfortunate, what makes it any different than any other family that loses a loved one? More adults die of cancer than any other death known, and most definitely more than the amount of parents that die in the service. I think it would be amazing that the government provided them with support that they need, because no one can argue that they don’t need it. At the same time though, isn’t this what they have to be prepared for? Obviously no one is asking to die when entering the military, but it’s a risk you are willing to take. You enter the service, knowing that dying is most definitely a possibility (especially when your country is at war). I am not going to say that these families shouldn’t receive support, because they should. They fought for our country and died for a good reason. I just felt as though the article reflected bitterness towards the government. Almost as though no matter what, the government wasn’t doing enough for these families. Maybe they aren’t but I do not think that the government is at all to BLAME for what these families are going through
Families who have parents or children in the armed forces need to be prepared for the extreme of losing a loved one to happen. A family needs to be prepared for every individual in their family also. A child or partner may need grief counseling to help them keep a normal flow to their lives. This will not only help them in the short term to deal with the death of a loved one but it will also help to keep them coping later in life also.
Families may also go outside a personal one on one session and go into group sessions. These group sessions let people know that they are definitely not alone and that people are going through the same thing they are emotionally. This can accelerate the grieving process and not only are the individuals getting help they are also providing help for others without even consciously knowing it.
Job security is always a essential need for family members who have lost a loved one. Whilst attending these group sessions the people who are running the program should have the resources and knowledge to provide the grieving with opportunities or information to try and get them some type of work.
As 215 said i think it is critical that the spouse is allowed adequate time to grieve. If this does not happen a person may enter his or her normal life with inadequate emotional capabilities to sometimes even handle the smallest stresses. The term "the straw that broke the camels back" is what im talking about in this case. Something small may trigger a very extreme act or reaction in the griever.
The lose of a parent or spouse is something that is obvioulsy extremely tramatic. I think that it should be the obligation of the military and the government to not only provide short term grief couseling but long term as well. I think that this is something that should be mandated, and become apart of the military system. It is important to provide the short term and long term couseling, because of the delayed morning that young children are experiencing as mentiond in the article. A long term grief counseling program should be made avilable to the militray families. This will benefit the young children and ultimatly our society becuase our youth is our future. The TAPS program is a great idea and really helps the families deal with their situation.
Military families housing, jobs, healthcare, and daily challenges are greatly effected when they experience the lose of a spouse. Once you lose a family member the income of the family is cut and a family could experience finacial struggle. The daily challenges will also change because what was once a two parent family is not a single parent family and that is always more difficult. These new stressors may cause health problems for the family. You could fall into a depression or have high bloodpressure because of stress. Lastly, it will be harder to find a job because you are a single parent and you must find something that works around your children.
As a society I believe we owe our military any type of assistance or finacial programs to help them cope with the lose of a loved one.
I agree with .215 with the idea of churches and community centers helping families in poverty. We as a society try to have these centers and places to go to help poeple of low SES and this relates to the fact that we need to do the same for our military families.
Losing a parent is troubling for anyone, especially children and adolescents. Group therapy that caters to children with parents in the military could especially be beneficial to children with parents in the military as a way to sort of prepare them for the possibility of losing a parent. This is not to say that they would not still be severely pained if they lose a parent but it could help. Once the loss has occurred children and adolescents should take part in group therapy for other people in their position as well as take part in some sort of family therapy where they can deal with issues along with the surviving parent.
For surviving parents with injuries, they should be supported by the government. They lost their limbs and almost their lives for this country thus, they should be supported. Counseling should be offered, they should receive assistance searching for a job, affordable housing, and affordable health care.
First off I would like to leave a comment on 381S10.304. They mentioned that no one really knows how the individual feels unless you have someone you love within military services. I myself have 2 brothers within the military and a few friends and yes I do view everything a little differently only because I would be devastated. I'm thankful for nothing serious occurring.
I have also noticed that everyone has agreed that the individuals who lose a member should get all the help they can get to go on as normally as possible.
As children between age newborn-10 grow up they aren't constantly thinking about what death is and how it will affect them. Instead they wonder wheres mom, wheres dad? Children as they get older then ask questions as to why and who their mother or father is and what they liked and if they were just like themselves. I think at that time it is also a crucial moment in life when a family needs help because when children come to realization it could always cause conflict because they gain more understanding. So it is very important for initial support at the beginning when it all occurs but also when and if they have children and they begin to start asking questions. They may need that emotional help and it should be looked at by the government regardless of how long the former soldier had passed.
I believe TAPS is a good program that started but I also believe they need to try an extended program to help out the families. Friends will only support you for so long and family try not to bring it up because they don't want to see you hurt. So when all else fails the families should have something to turn to when things get rough and they need help to turn things around with those types of programs. Especially as children get older because there are tons of family events that go on where maybe the children wonder why both parents can't be there but they see the other children parents. Maybe there should be a programs where families alike who lose loved ones can get together, share stories, and try their hardest to help one another through coping with these issues that seem so familiar.
When children are infants or toddlers when their parent joins the war, the parent misses out on watching their child grow up. If the parent then becomes injured or dies in the war the impact for the military families is more of a painful experience. When the military family is impacted with this traumatic event, they will go through bereavement in different ways. Some military families need psychological help right away and some have delayed grieving mechanisms. Therefore looking at the long term resources of this event the military families would definitely need grief counselors and sociologists who study military families. “Counselors say that children, and the surviving spouses, need a strong network of support after a member of the military dies, especially since many abruptly leave the cocoon-like environment of a military base.” However each family is different, for some military families the help would be a short term resource but for others it might be long term. In the article it also mentions that in that kind of trauma, it’s really what the extended family and community and organizations can do to reach out and provide comfort to assist the primary caregiver as another long term resource. A short term resource the families might need is a dedication ceremony. This could be used to make the family feel that the parent’s death was not in vain. In addition, for that parent’s dedication to the war to be celebrated and praised in a way that is comforting to the family. These families will have a hard time surviving daily challenges but can. The parent who wasn’t in the war may have to take up another job or may need to seek extra help from family members with help with finances and housing. They also may have to downsize now that there is only one income in the house. As far as health care they might have to apply to Medicaid to receive extra assistance with health care. This is unfortunate but however this reality for a lot of wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands, and children of people in the Iraqi and Afghanistan war. That’s why it’s our responsibility to try to help these families as much as we can. Donating money to the troops, join organizations that help the military families with food, day care, and the essential things they need to survive in life. If we applied these ideas to help the people in the war to helping people in poverty in general we could end poverty or at least have it at an all time low. If we were more considered about the community and the world around us we could really help families in poverty.
When children are infants or toddlers when their parent joins the war, the parent misses out on watching their child grow up. If the parent then becomes injured or dies in the war the impact for the military families is more of a painful experience. When the military family is impacted with this traumatic event, they will go through bereavement in different ways. Some military families need psychological help right away and some have delayed grieving mechanisms. Therefore looking at the long term resources of this event the military families would definitely need grief counselors and sociologists who study military families. “Counselors say that children, and the surviving spouses, need a strong network of support after a member of the military dies, especially since many abruptly leave the cocoon-like environment of a military base.” However each family is different, for some military families the help would be a short term resource but for others it might be long term. In the article it also mentions that in that kind of trauma, it’s really what the extended family and community and organizations can do to reach out and provide comfort to assist the primary caregiver as another long term resource. A short term resource the families might need is a dedication ceremony. This could be used to make the family feel that the parent’s death was not in vain. In addition, for that parent’s dedication to the war to be celebrated and praised in a way that is comforting to the family. These families will have a hard time surviving daily challenges but can. The parent who wasn’t in the war may have to take up another job or may need to seek extra help from family members with help with finances and housing. They also may have to downsize now that there is only one income in the house. As far as health care they might have to apply to Medicaid to receive extra assistance with health care. This is unfortunate but however this reality for a lot of wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands, and children of people in the Iraqi and Afghanistan war. That’s why it’s our responsibility to try to help these families as much as we can. Donating money to the troops, join organizations that help the military families with food, day care, and the essential things they need to survive in life. If we applied these ideas to help the people in the war to helping people in poverty in general we could end poverty or at least have it at an all time low. If we were more considered about the community and the world around us we could really help families in poverty.
The impact of parental injury and loss on military children and adolescents is significant. The memory of the family includes a traumatic experience, which helps the surviving members grow strong, yet leaves an ache.
I agree with Ted's suggestion that government aid should not only be short-term, but be substantial enough as to make the family stable. Examples of services that are helpful include grief counseling, job and health benefits, and housing. Since military families are serving their duty to this country, it is only fair for the government to demonstrate that their service is not in vain. It is our responsibility to as a society to show our appreciation to war veterans, since they have put their lives on their line and spent time away from all that is familiar to them. Hospitals and social agencies provide several services to ease sick patients back to health. The same should be done with military families. It is an economic benefit; in exchange for military services, the family is provided for. Children especially should not suffer after experiencing such a loss. I think it is the government's responsibility to help war veterans, as well as the poor, because their situation is a struggle and a sacrifice. American constitutional principles do not allow for such injustice and poverty. There needs to be a shift, so if a little more good is done each day, and a little less bad is perpetrated each day, we are heading in the right direction.
My close friend Stephan Yen recently returned from a 6 month excursion to Afghanistan. His situation coming home proved just as severe as the example provided from the article at hand. He went over as a marine, stabilizing the warring areas, basically risking his life in the potential line of fire day in and day out. Thankfully, he returned to discover a family hanging on by a mere thread. A soldier himself, basically thought of as maybe not returning home, a Father, dwindling away from the ghastly affects of lung cancer, and his poor Mother. This article inspired me to want more oppurtunities for those soldiers who do make it back from warring nations. What was Stephan to do? He wanted to eventually enter back onto the battlefront, but with a dying Father and needing Mother, what was a soldier back home good for. Stephan's Father was the breadwinner for the family, providing for his shelter even up to leaving for the war. We ask our soldiers to deal with the awful memories that occur when serving, yet we don't necessarily consider the absolute mourning that comes along with it. Stephan now had to deal with these war stories, along with an ultimately untimely death for his loving Father. My friend has been able to provide for his Mother since the passing away. Recovering soldiers must be placed into health programs aimed at rebuilding life relationships. Witnessing the bloodshed that they have must be addressed and dealt with through therapy. I believe that my friends situation is so unique, due to the fact that it was someone else in his family that passed. It almost shines a little light on the matter at hand. Are soldiers basically counted out for returning home? Does their family lifestyle ever come into our thought process or are they just an ends to the means? Hopefully as family scientists we could help work with this veterans, and their more than deserving families. For if they were not risking their lives for us, we could not enjoy the daily liberties we do.
Children of our military personnel did not make the choice to enlist but are, arguably, just as affected by war as those who are stationed in the middle of it. I would assume that these children can miss out on vital bonding, feel a sense of loss, and be plagued with fear while a parent is stationed in wartime. As shown with the many children in the article, the loss of a parent is devastating and will affect you for many years, even if you are too young at the time to fully understand it. Not only can they experience psychological damage, but a family with a deceased or injured parent can suffer financially.
For hundreds of years, men and women have bravely joined the military, some voluntarily and some by draft, to protect our country. They have made the ultimate sacrifice for us, so we should do anything to show our gratitude. I completely agree with poster 215, who said, “If a soldier dedicates his life to serving our country, and our government, then the government should certainly make sure it honors and protects that person, and his family, to the fullest extent.” I think that programs, resources, and benefits for military personnel and their families are very important, and are just a small way of saying “thank you” for all they have done and given. As previous posters have stated (241, 324, etc.), I think it is important that family members have immediate access to grief counselors, as well as long-term psychiatric support. In the article, Brandy Williams sent her six-year-old daughter, Mya, to a Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) grief camp after their husband/father was killed in war. I thought that, in theory, this camp was a good idea for families because it could help them cope with the loss of a loved one in the military, but not necessarily appropriate for a child her age. How well can a six-year-old really comprehend “I.E.D.’s and roadside bombs”? In my opinion, Mya should have been a few more years older to be told information that intense and in-depth of her father’s death. Nevertheless, I think that continued counseling and support groups are important for mental health. Another important thing to consider is financial support. I support current laws that provide health care insurance to military personnel and their spouses and dependents. I also think that programs that help military families search for jobs and housing are important to help them stay financially stable. I am involved in “Operation Second Chance,” an organization that gives aid to wounded soldiers and their families, helping them recover physically and emotionally from war and transition back into civilian life. The organization has modified the existing homes of disabled veterans and their families so they are more livable for those who were injured, with wheelchair-accessible entrance ramps, countertops, and showers. We also help families with everyday needs, like paying over-due utility bills and passing out gift cards to local restaurants and grocery stores. In addition, I think one of the most important things to remember is military families need long-term support, not just immediate assistance. As Brandy Sacco, wife a deceased solider, recalls, “I had people come visit me for the first month…They brought me food, and then everybody was gone. I was like, O.K., what do I do know?” The grief and pain of the death of a spouse or parent in the military will be felt for long time, so we must continue to offer assistance long after the “burst of initial support.”
I agree with what 241 said. After losing a loved one either physically or mentally (post-trauma), I believe it is very important for the government to provide families with counseling. While general counseling is important I believe that the parent who was left behind needs to be assigned a personal counselor. This person will be helping them grieve emotionally as well as help them think of ways to budget for the current family. They would act as an advisor to see what decisions would have to be made so that it is in the best interest of the children. This would be a very powerful resource to have so that families are prepared for the long term effects. After losing one parent, the parent that is left behind has no choice but to act as the sole supporter. Since this wasn’t a personal decision, I believe that the government owes it to them to give them benefits to certain programs to get the family back on their feet. Very similar to child support, I think that the government should give the family at least 80% of what the active duty parent was earning monthly (for at the very least 1 year). During this time period, single parents are able to think of a budget plan, possibly finish school to get a better job, etc. Even after the year is up, I think the family is still entitled to certain benefits such as assistance with child care, discounts, help with college funds, etc. I understand many families are put in this type of situation but for those that we’re on the actual war-zones, these are the families who are making the ultimate sacrifice. They are sacrificing a loved-one for their country and the least the country could do is to make sure the family is taken care of and supported.
The impact of parental injury and loss on children and adolescents in military families is detrimental. Yes, it hurts when a family member dies but I think it’s a bigger issue when they die fighting for their country. The family members need a lot more moral support and care. These families will have a harder time facing challenges of jobs, housing, and health care. I feel like the government should take action and get these families good jobs, a good house, and health care if they don’t have any or better health care if they already do. Our responsibility as a society to military families who suffer loss during the conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan are to show our gratitude. I agree with coolchica in that that people are sacrificing their lives for us. The least we can do is support them and their families. Government is for the people, by the people. It is an institution that is supposed to take care of all citizens, whether they're rich or living in poverty, whether they're civilians or military families. I think military need much more support, care and love and it is our duty as a society to give them this.
I think that the amount of money this country spends on war is far beyond inordinate – but the price that families pay when losing a family member in war or when they are severely mentally or physically injured is something that they pay for the rest of their lives. The various stories told in the New York Times article are telling of the constant search children go through once they are older in trying to figure out who daddy was, and the pull the mothers go through between the painful reminder and the importance given to remembering their husbands for the sake of their children.
Because of this, it is important that military families receive appropriate assistance on a short-term and long-term basis. They should be able to access individual and family counseling, group counseling sessions, financial advising and monetary assistance, and health care that will aptly take care of the injured parent. Having a strong network with other military families can help strengthen their community and help them feel like they’re not alone – something that can also help them with those daily challenges. I think it is important to support those military families who experience loss especially because of the strict nature of the military. The family has absolutely no control over the situation (a soldier’s allegiance is to their soldierly duty), which can leave a family feeling very weak especially after losing someone to war. If the government does not offer them apt assistance, the psychological effects could be detrimental to the family and possibly lead to a deteriorating of their family structures. Especially for women with younger children who lose their husbands to war, they could be left in weak positions financially and psychologically because of their younger age.
Many people chose to join the military because they can’t afford further education. In their attempt to try to make their lives better, if one loses their life or is traumatically injured in some way due to a war, it would be very difficult for his/her family. In properly supporting those military families who suffer loss, we are not only honoring their family members’ lives but helping them to continue on and improve their own lives.
Parental loss or injury can be extremely detrimental to children and adolescents in military families. The untimely death of a parent represents a profound crisis in both acute and long-term adaption for the family. Furthermore, the loss invariably deprives children of an enormously significant emotional exchange, and may leave the remaining parent ill-prepared to continue his or her own role, let alone take on the functions of the deceased. With that being said, the loss of a parent can also affect the care provided for the children. Therefore, resources are imperative to facilitate these children's adjustment to the reorganization of their family structure. According to the article, continual emotional support from family and friends is a short-term resource that is critical when coping with the loss of a loved one. To further this idea, organizing social groups dealing with the same crisis can provide a more supportive network. However, these are obvious coping mechanisms to a grieving process. Therefore, in agreement with .241, the government should provide long-term grief counseling or therapy sessions aimed to open communication pathways within the family and establish healthy coping mechanisms. In addition, I concur with .324 regarding the government stepping in to help those single parents who are in poverty find jobs to stabilize their family. The government should also provide short-term housing assistance (shelter) and financial help (cash supplements, food stamps) for those families in need. Considering the circumstances, these factors would positively affect and alleviate much unneeded stress to many military families facing the loss of a loved one. As a government we owe our support and help to those families grieving and in need.
I saw a news story on this subject the other day. It was discussing the section of Arlington National Cemetery they have named the acre of sadness or section sixty. This is the section where those killed in the line of duty in either Iraq or Afghanistan are laid to rest. The families come to see loved ones and have started to get to know one another and help each other through the grieving process. I would also have to agree with 304 when they stated what these families need most is emotional support and someone to listen as well as guide them through all the red tape to receive the benefits they are entitled to from the government. Anyone who has applied for a government job or been in the military like I have knows that the military is not just going to hand out money or services to families. It is sad but survivors and even injured military personal have to request assistance and do lots of paper work it is so overwhelming that a lot of loved ones just give up. This is were the support from other families comes into play and is a big part of helping those families get the assistance they require. Although it does not seem right the military and the government make you work for anything they are willing to distribute.
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